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By Dickens Tiharihondijo
A friend of mine, Martin, once said something that struck me deeply: "If you want to be happy in life, choose to be either extremely poor or extremely rich. It’s those in the middle who suffer the most."
At first, it sounded like one of those overly simplistic takes on life. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized just how painfully accurate it is for many of us living the so-called "in-between" life.
You’re not poor—but you’re far from rich. You work, you earn, and you try to live a decent life. Yet there’s always this gap between what you have and what you desire. There’s a life you envision for yourself, a level you keep chasing, but somehow, it never quite materializes. You’re stuck in a place where dreams tease you, but reality holds you back.
The extremely poor, ironically, don’t carry this kind of burden. Their lives revolve around survival and simplicity. They are often content with the bare minimum—drinking a cheap bottle of waragi, sharing laughter, raising children with little concern for formal education or future planning. Their needs are basic, and often, their wealthier relatives cover the few pressing responsibilities that arise. They are not worried about the latest iPhone, new cars, or school rankings.
On the other end of the spectrum, the extremely rich live with unmatched convenience. A new gadget is released—they simply buy it. A holiday in Europe or a spontaneous getaway? They just go. School fees are paid in advance, and their children attend the best institutions without question. Health emergencies don’t shake their financial foundation. They live freely, unburdened by the weight of uncertainty.
Then, there’s you. The corporate, the civil servant, the teacher, the journalist, the mid-level manager—the one who appears to be “doing okay” from the outside, but is constantly living under pressure. You want to take a break, maybe travel, but first, you need to hustle some side gigs or save for months. And just when you’re almost there, a friend gets married or a relative falls sick—so you dip into your savings. The cycle starts again.
A new iPhone 16 hits the market. Your friends get it, but your salary can barely cover an iPhone 7, let alone survive the month. You want your children to study in good schools—not the cheapest, because you feel you’ve "moved past that class," yet you can’t afford the elite academies either. You’re stuck paying high fees at a mid-tier school that stretches your income to the limit.
Healthcare is another dilemma. You don’t trust the under-resourced health centers in the village, but you also can’t afford top-tier private hospitals. When you fall sick, you negotiate between cost and care.
To keep up appearances, you take loans and advances—sometimes just to attend a wedding, buy a decent outfit, or fix your worn-out car. People assume you’re doing well because of your job title or the suit you wear, but only you know the tightrope you walk every day. Every phone call from home feels like a potential financial demand. Your salary barely lands before it’s swallowed by deductions and obligations.
And yes, you want a car. You even deserve one. But all you can afford is a heavily used, beat-up one, funded by your next salary advance. It spends more time in the garage than on the road. By the end of the year, what you’ve spent fixing it could have bought a new one.
This is the harsh truth of the "in-between" life. It's not poverty, but it's certainly not comfort. It’s a constant state of stress—stretching, adjusting, sacrificing. And so the question lingers: How will you ever be happy when you’re always catching up?
Maybe we need a new kind of contentment. One that doesn’t depend on what others have. One that allows us to breathe within our means while striving for better. But until then, life in the middle will remain the hardest balancing act of all.
Torch Media Africa
